Thank you for your openness and sharing your personal story. I can’t even imagine what that must have been like, and I’m sorry that you had to experience that.
Also thank you for taking the time to explain. I 100% agree with what you say. You describe a very careful procedure, it being such a delicate matter. This is what I would want for my son if he was in this position. He’s 4 and has said he’s a girl many times lately. That’s incredibly young and probably a phase. I recall myself wanting to be a girl for a bit, at the same age, and my mom gave me a dress to wear (great mum, and a wonderful memory, I was lucky). It didn’t stick for me. But if it does for him, my primary concern is their wellbeing, and that they grow up in an accepting environment (and society). I wish you could’ve had that.
If I may ask you a question, I honestly don’t know this. Puberty is a natural process that everyone goes through under normal circumstances. But children who transition and take puberty blockers don’t, I assume (or do they but after transitioning?). If they don’t, that’s an experience they will never have, is there any issue with that?
Thanks again for your thoughtful response. It’s really helpful to understand.
PS I wanted to clarify that my worry on this issue is primarily with doing away with a careful process, as I’ve heard sometimes being voiced. I’m not saying it should be made more difficult, but it is a delicate process, with young children, and I feel what you described is a proper way of handling it. I think many folks (the majority really) who consider themselves a bit more neutral on the matter think this way, and being called transphobe for even the slightest deviation from the opinion of some folks does the trans community more harm than good.
So there’s something called Hormone Replacement Therapy.
It’s where doctors refer you to endocrinologists who measure the hormone levels in ng/DL or nanograms per deciliter in your blood.
The endocrinologists then recommend a dosage of estradiol and progesterone, or testosterone if the child is transitioning from “female to male”, in order to bring their hormone levels into a healthy range for someone their age of the opposite sex.
The body is surprisingly flexible especially during development when your bones and ligaments are still forming and your epiphyseal plates are still porous and malleable. When they go from blockers to HRT, their body will make puberty of the opposite sex happen, and they will look completely natural as a member of that sex, with the exception of their gonads/genitals.
These are almost always the trans people “you can’t tell” with. It’s easy to blend in when you never went through “the wrong puberty” so to speak.
That happens after the blockers, and is basically the final decision before permanent changes happen, usually at 14 - 16 years of age after having the child on puberty blockers and regularly therapy sessions.
No medicine will be prescribed until puberty begins, and no surgeries will be prescribed until adulthood in most cases. There are some rare exceptions in some states, but it’s still at the parents discretion.
If the child and you decide transition isn’t the right choice, the child can simply go off the puberty blockers, and regular puberty happens in line with their assigned sex at birth, with a minimal change in development.
If your child is showing signs I absolutely recommend talking to multiple doctors and therapists about all of this, and if it seems right you may end up wanting to schedule some pediatric therapy for them to really investigate and potentially diagnose… or simply to learn that it really is just a phase, which is also worth knowing for sure from professionals, that way you don’t have to second guess yourself as much.
Professionals make mistakes which is why I recommend seeking multiple opinions just to be sure.
If you make the child feel safe and give them options, they will show you their true unfiltered nature, whatever that may be.
Some little girls are tomboys early in life but grow up and remain female and live as women, because it’s not about what toys they like or how they interact with others… it’s about whether or not they have clinical gender dysphoria and feel sad or scared at the idea of growing up and living as their birth sex.
Doctors are your friend. They became doctors to help people. Let them try!
Thank you for your openness and sharing your personal story. I can’t even imagine what that must have been like, and I’m sorry that you had to experience that.
Also thank you for taking the time to explain. I 100% agree with what you say. You describe a very careful procedure, it being such a delicate matter. This is what I would want for my son if he was in this position. He’s 4 and has said he’s a girl many times lately. That’s incredibly young and probably a phase. I recall myself wanting to be a girl for a bit, at the same age, and my mom gave me a dress to wear (great mum, and a wonderful memory, I was lucky). It didn’t stick for me. But if it does for him, my primary concern is their wellbeing, and that they grow up in an accepting environment (and society). I wish you could’ve had that.
If I may ask you a question, I honestly don’t know this. Puberty is a natural process that everyone goes through under normal circumstances. But children who transition and take puberty blockers don’t, I assume (or do they but after transitioning?). If they don’t, that’s an experience they will never have, is there any issue with that?
Thanks again for your thoughtful response. It’s really helpful to understand.
PS I wanted to clarify that my worry on this issue is primarily with doing away with a careful process, as I’ve heard sometimes being voiced. I’m not saying it should be made more difficult, but it is a delicate process, with young children, and I feel what you described is a proper way of handling it. I think many folks (the majority really) who consider themselves a bit more neutral on the matter think this way, and being called transphobe for even the slightest deviation from the opinion of some folks does the trans community more harm than good.
So there’s something called Hormone Replacement Therapy.
It’s where doctors refer you to endocrinologists who measure the hormone levels in ng/DL or nanograms per deciliter in your blood.
The endocrinologists then recommend a dosage of estradiol and progesterone, or testosterone if the child is transitioning from “female to male”, in order to bring their hormone levels into a healthy range for someone their age of the opposite sex.
The body is surprisingly flexible especially during development when your bones and ligaments are still forming and your epiphyseal plates are still porous and malleable. When they go from blockers to HRT, their body will make puberty of the opposite sex happen, and they will look completely natural as a member of that sex, with the exception of their gonads/genitals.
These are almost always the trans people “you can’t tell” with. It’s easy to blend in when you never went through “the wrong puberty” so to speak.
That happens after the blockers, and is basically the final decision before permanent changes happen, usually at 14 - 16 years of age after having the child on puberty blockers and regularly therapy sessions.
No medicine will be prescribed until puberty begins, and no surgeries will be prescribed until adulthood in most cases. There are some rare exceptions in some states, but it’s still at the parents discretion.
If the child and you decide transition isn’t the right choice, the child can simply go off the puberty blockers, and regular puberty happens in line with their assigned sex at birth, with a minimal change in development.
If your child is showing signs I absolutely recommend talking to multiple doctors and therapists about all of this, and if it seems right you may end up wanting to schedule some pediatric therapy for them to really investigate and potentially diagnose… or simply to learn that it really is just a phase, which is also worth knowing for sure from professionals, that way you don’t have to second guess yourself as much.
Professionals make mistakes which is why I recommend seeking multiple opinions just to be sure.
If you make the child feel safe and give them options, they will show you their true unfiltered nature, whatever that may be.
Some little girls are tomboys early in life but grow up and remain female and live as women, because it’s not about what toys they like or how they interact with others… it’s about whether or not they have clinical gender dysphoria and feel sad or scared at the idea of growing up and living as their birth sex.
Doctors are your friend. They became doctors to help people. Let them try!