I think that only applies to whole groups of people who can’t choose who they are. Some palestinian wishing Netanyahu died is a whole different thing from that same palestinian wanting every Israeli to die. And this can apply to any minority. To me, directing rage to the person directly responsible for someone’s oppression is a completely different beast from directing that rage to an entire group of people who just happens to share one trait with said oppressor.
Besides, I’m not one to wish death on anyone, but if they die as a consequence of their deliberately cruel actions I’m not gonna care.
See, this is a problem we commonly see as “tone policing”. You can’t really tell victims of actually cruel people to not dislike their oppressors. You’re showing more of a concern with decorum and being respectable than the fact the people are being oppressed.