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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • The answer is more complicated than other comments would lead you to believe. Before I get into all that, please know it doesn’t matter. Especially, when it comes to 14 year old kids who are playing JV sports at school.

    First, the problem with studies is that there are very few trans athletes to study. Some studies have only one or two subjects.

    Studies show that there is both an advantage and a disadvantage depending on what sport we are talking about and how long the athlete has been on hormones. Weightlifting and other strength based sports do tend to give an edge to trans women. However, cardio sports such as swimming and running put trans women at a disadvantage because they now have smaller muscle mass for their larger frames.

    To me, it doesn’t matter. The camaraderie and other things that kids get out of sports is more important than who wins and who loses.


  • I know a lot of guys in the comments are saying they don’t see it so they don’t have the opportunity to call it out. And some of those guys are making good points! These communities probably don’t interact much with men that treat women with respect.

    But I also wonder how much of that stuff happens and they don’t realize it’s harmful to women. Obviously sharing photos isn’t okay so that’s an easy one to call out.

    It’s not a man’s fault that he doesn’t see it, necessarily. You don’t have the same experiences as women and it just doesn’t occur to you as often. Women are on alert 24/7.

    Kinda like that thing about the number of guys who feel safe walking to their car at night vs the number of women. (I know some men are anxious in that scenario too, but nearly ALL women are.)

    When I was an elementary school aged kid, I was afraid to play outside at my grandmas house because a man drove by yelling cat calls. This actually happened a couple times growing up.

    At 14, a random man followed me home from school.

    In my college there was a flyer in the restroom about how something like 1 in 6 women will experience sexual assault or rape. But really that’s just the number reported.

    Every single woman I know has experienced sexual assault or rape of some kind. (I didn’t ask my coworkers to be fair).

    That’s bonkers.

    But I do appreciate those of you that are trying to be better! The comments here are reassuring and give hope for the future!






  • Occasionally my partner does or says some things that remind me of the “manosphere” aka 4chan neckbeards.

    And when it happens, we talk about it. I don’t pretend or let it go as “he doesn’t mean it” or “he doesn’t know what he’s saying”. I don’t get mad and he doesn’t get mad. We have an adult discussion and I’m careful not to talk down to him.

    A perfect example was that he sometimes says “females” when he means “women”. I explain that it’s not a swear word but it’s still derogatory. I explain why. Once I did, he understood and stopped doing it.

    It doesn’t have to be a big deal! Communication is key!