I didn’t realize I was lactose intolerant for the longest time. I just assumed everyone had some food that gave them the booboos and it was just the price of living. I thought intolerance was synonymous with allergy, and since it didn’t kill me, I just assumed I didn’t have it.

How I found out:

Me: I sure do love ice cream. Sucks that it makes me stomach hurt.

Friend: So you’re lactose intolerant?

Me: Oh, no, no. Ice cream and milk have just always messed up my stomach.

Friend:

Me:

Friend: That’s what lactose intolerance is.

That’s why I order with almond milk because nut juice is more manly.

Real milk contains mammal estrogen instead of just the plant kind.

Then you take it black, like my heart.

Like… what is this arbitrary ranking you have there that put soy milk below milk?

Milk is for babies

Literally skill issue

Only soy boys say “tummy”.