The American motherland has a magnetic pull on them, drawing them in.

Opens the door a crack

“WE ARE USING COOKIES TO TRACK YOU!”

“How’s the chai?”

“I’m sorry, I’m not supposed to tell you this.”

“Gosh, looks like an engine fire right after launch, better punch out and drop this fuck in the Persian gulf!”

You only have to do that a couple times before they desk you.

Ohhhh!

Cool cool cool, super cool, no doubt, no doubt.

I would never leave my girlfriend stranded on a hike. I need her for if there is a bear.

I feel safer when I see IFrames and text and blue (sometimes purple) links than I do when everything’s shiny and slidey and has an alpha of less than 255.

I was told this would be a 3-day special military operation

Where the good stuff is

Yuge War

Are we calling this whole situation in the middle east and Europa a world war yet?

US is doing an evil playthrough.

It’s not what it looks like, he’s just here to walk me to the car wash!

If convicted felons can be president, they should be allowed to vote too.

Stepouttathecarpleasesir.

I can’t stand shorts, tick-tock, or any of those videos. The videos I watch are usually comprehensive, longer than 10 mins, and I pause, rewind, slow down ect the video.

First name choice was “The internet”

Second name choice was “The pornography machine”

They have forgotten our provenance and purpose. There is no pornography sullying out social media. There is social media sullying our pornography.