Trump, 79, admitted to Fox News on Tuesday that he feels he is “at the bottom of the totem pole” regarding his odds of making it to the promised land, leading many to ponder: Why is the president suddenly so hell-bent on making it to the pearly gates?
Who is worse Just Dumb of Putin’s Sock Puppet? I will not shed any tears, but I will bust open a refreshing beer.
There’s no way we’re gonna be so lucky. Plus, JD in the WH? Yikes.
Next up: Unsolicited call to the Pope to determine how much he’d need to donate to make it to heaven.
Papel Indulgence are a thing. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indulgence
Trump makes me wish hell existed.
I am going to need something a little stronger than Hell for he and his kind…
Oh, man, I’d feel so bad for him if he died screaming and terrified of going to Hell. 🥳
🍾
I don’t believe for a moment that he is actually even remotely religious. I suspect he’s at most an apathetic agnostic. We all know he simply panders to Christians to get their support. He sees them as suckers who he can grift, just like their preachers do.
I buy it.
If you spend enough time near people on their way out you will find even agnostic and atheist praying at times, Pascals wager and all that. Almost everyone is scared of death, including those that won’t admit. One bad doctors visit can turn people religious.
He worships himself
Satan: Nicky, get the pineapple ready.
Maybe if you want to go to heaven do something that has even the slightest positive impact on the world instead of constantly doubling down on making everything shittier…
Or if you really wanted to seal the deal you could turn yourself and all your cronies over to the justice system for your innumerable crimes and be held accountable.
Jk there’s no such thing as heaven.
I’m not even a little bit concerned about his health. I guess that could be taken one of two different ways. I meant for the mean way.
He is afraid of dying because he well knows there is a special place in hell for him. Right next to Reagan and Thatcher.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
Reagan and Haig
Mr. Begin and friend
Mrs. Thatcher
And Paisley “Hello Maggie!”
Mr. Brezhnev and party “Scusi dov’è il bar?”
The ghost of McCarthy
And the memories of Nixon
And now, adding colour “Who’s the bald chap?”
A group of anonymous Latin-American meat packing glitterati
The ONLY place he will never reach
Eh, Ol’ Bone Spurs ain’t making it to Valhalla either
Trump
79,SparksHealthConcernsWith ‘Heaven’ DeclarationFTFY
Trump 79 dies…🤞🏽
He doesn’t deserve such an easy out, but he will probably get it.
At least we still get to piss on his grave
I’m lactose intolerant. I’ll drink a whole gallon of milk and paint that fucking grave.
You can’t hurt him worse than he does and always has.
Encase him on his throne and keep him alive for eternity so that the psykers can navigate the warp with him as the bright beacon of shit. Sacrifice 100000 cheeseburgers a day for him to devour so that no chaos god dares to even set foot in this part of this galaxy
It’s a totally different golden throne for him.
Not really the actual golden throne is technically also a toilet.
Sadly yes. He’s demise and eventual death needs to be long and painful for him. For all we know he could be very well in excruciating pain and he is just loaded up with pain killers and his staff has been told to keep it quiet. Just look at his face and the way he talks and moves around, he’s not the same trump from even a year ago.
St. Peter will deny the loser entry with a single finger salute and point him towards his buddy Epstein.
